Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The REAL overlords of ToF

....... and their floozies

Wednesday, February 21, 2007


Ride. Drink. Race. Drink. Eat. Ride. Drink. Dance.
Dress in drag or die.
4pm at HQ.
Be there.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

From the media sluts

You guys should definitely step up to the plate ...er.... shore. It's gonna be bundles of fun. (and we can even make a special monkeyish birthday mud cake! - can't promise it will stay dry tho)

Check out our blog for a link to our media slutdom... definitely worth a look!! :)

Miss you guys!!

BTW I am compelled to resent those remarks about Canberra inhabitants...

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Supreme Powers

I'm sorry but elegant art nouveau style advertising images simply have no place on this blog. I put up with it for a couple of days but enough is enough. Youse have all been warned. While I'm here I will let you know that those uppity self professed media sluts, Rat Patrol Oz, have challenged the Tongue to take them on at a little aqua-chopper racing in the Berra around March 24. The designing, building and racing of an aqua-chopper and the defeating of Rat Patrol in Sport present little in the way of challenges for the Tongue of Fire. However since organising and implementing a once monthly ride of more than six people seems beyond us Canberra may as well be in another galaxy. In fact if you look at its inhabitants....Anyways thats the deal. Should anybody be able to make it they'd be guaranteed of a good time with those sexy intergalactic Rat people.

Friday, February 09, 2007


The Supreme Overlord Gravox challenges ALL to drag race for CASH down The Grassy Slope Of Carnage on the 24th of February. Don't let the fact that T.S.O.G. will be riding his new MEGA-TURBO-ULTRA-CHOPPER whilst wearing something summery and floral scare you off, although I suspect just reading this will make most of you soil your frilly pink knickers that come up to your belly buttons. Also let us not forget this will be Kurious Kat's farewell ride as she leaves us for old Blighty shortly after. May she feel the bitter sweet Tongue of departure.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Get your feathers fluffed and your sequins shiny for the
Queens of Tongue Drag Ride
on Sat 24th Feb

- a little "drag" racing on The Grassy Slope of Carnage
- the Screaming Queen Pub to Gutter Dash
- handbag toss by the legs of Colonel Light
- stiletto dance-athon later at the Palace of Pleasure
- appearances by Ida Madeit & sisters Iona Welder & Iona Tallie

So be sure to get frocked, dress up your dragster and tart up the tall.
Fabulousness starts at HQ at 4pm.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Great Big Ride


Thursday, February 01, 2007

On the stupendous inefficacy of career advice in the late 80’s

A friend of a friend is a station manager in Antarctica. Yes. That’s right - Antarctica. She manages a station in Ant-arc-tica. I had to say it again, slower that time. Now, how is it that a job like that exists and someone can have it?

It got me thinking back to career advice I got in highschool. Where was the 'How to be an Antarctic station manager’ brochure when I, as a dewy eyed youngster with good grades and strong bones, stood on the threshold of Mr [deleted for legal reasons]’s office? Hell, none of the suggestions I got even ventured out of my home town, let alone onto a significant ice shelf! I was told I could work in a chemist. Not as a chemist but in a chemist – there’s a difference. I also scored journalist and radiographer. Don't they strike you as a little on the random side? I reckon Dexter had more sophisticated matching skills for ill-fated lovers destined for dirty weekends on tacky commercial islands with camera crews in tow (what was with that!) than this alleged ‘advisor’.

So my point? Forget that ‘Friends Reunited’ malarky. I don’t want to catch up with school friends (after all I can pop into a chemist, hospital or grab a newspaper for that). Where's 'Careers Advisor Reunited' ? I’d just like a quick word. I’m curious what combination of 'career' and 'advice' he thought he was dispensing. I want to know if what went through his head resembled something along the lines of…..

[Scene 1: A girl pushes a door that slides, slowly, scraping the floor. It's dark inside. The corridor fluorescent backlights her. Inexplicable mist swirls around her feet. There is a murky glow on a crumpled figure, slumped low and twisted in a chair behind a desk. We can barely make out half his face in the fierce shadow.]

[The audience can hear the voice inside the man’s head.] “Ah, yes. A girlchild. She appears healthy. And can stand on her own. Upon reaching into my desk draw filled with meticulously torn strips from an old Yellow Pages, I will read her future.”

[He disappears from view
. We hear the brain slicing screech of a draw runner and the ruffle of paper. He rises and says croakily, not at all like yoda].

‘For you young grasshopper, I advise the careers of ……”

I reckon I’m not far off, but I’m curious to know. Oh, and if you’re still with me (sorry i will learn smallpost) there’s another ride coming up on Feb 24th. So make sure to (sticky) date your diary. Dress-ups tbc.