Thursday, August 31, 2006

feelin' the love...


A huge thank you to Rat Patrol Oz for making such an awesome effort transporting bikes and people to rock out at tall bike convention. The tongue of fire salivates in anticipation of your return.

Also a big thank you to Wayne and Brian from SAAS for giving pete the good stuff

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The Supreme Overlord Gravox Remembers

My dear Tonguers, Rat Patrollers, Lone Wolves and Fellow Bike freaks. Where do I start? What a glorious weekend of bicycular madness! An absolute ball tearer! So many fantastic memories but I'll begin with the formalities of the results, as I remember them.

The Six Pack Relay.

Winning team: Rat Patrol
Riders: Two Humps, Victa 2 Stroke, Nancy Porker, Bloody Mary, Dogga and Toad Haul.
After a lightning quick start Rat Patrol continued to extend their lead, knocking back the juice in frightening style. In fact some complained that one can was insufficient for the duration of three laps. All in all a worthy event. As Victa 2 Stroke commented: "Beers and laps...excellent"

Blinkered Figure Eight Racing.

Heat One: 1st Flighty on "Bull Ant", 2nd T.S.O. Gravox on "Dennis Chopper"
Heat Two: 1st Brett on "Code name Condor"(?), 2nd ?
Heat Three: 1st Will on "Tall Dutch" , 2nd Victa 2 Stroke on "Small Tall"
Heat Four: 1st Two Humps on "Dennis Chopper", 2nd Evil K on "Stormboy"

Final: A scrappy start with much jostling saw a tightly bunched group hit turn two where Flighty threw it away in his inimatible style. This left Two Humps, Will and Brett to dice it out. The pace was furious and the crossover hair raising with centimetre accurate passing, or near misses by the demon racers, desperate for glory. Eventually Will pulled out to a lead over Two Humps which he maintained to the finish. Meanwhile two laps back Flighty was pushing it like a madman and lost the front to stack it a beauty.
We must thank Trixiboy for this format and MudButtMonkey and Organ Donor for the absolutely sensational blinkers. Figure Eight Racing rocks hard.

Disco Derby.

This event was a bit of freeform fun with The Supreme Overlord Gravox getting unfairly, molested and victimised from all quarters. In the end The Dreadlock Dude on Turbo Maggot 2000 cunningly jettisoned a jousting lance into the path of T.S.O.G. to unseat him.


Two Humps v. Brett
An even match-up with Two Humps taking the honours.

The Supreme Overlord Gravox v. The Dreadlock Dude
The Dreadlock Dude delivered T.S.O.G. a real bladder burster before having to retire hurt himself after four passes.

MudButtMonkey v. Toad Haul
Toad managed to land a good one on MudButt whilst getting one himself and dismounting first. The third pass went to the crafty ButtMonkey making victory his.

Evil K v. Bloody Mary
After three rounds of dabbing at each other like a pair of powderpuffs two raging bulls met with such impact to create a spectacle of airborn bikes and riders that was satisfying in its symmetry. A draw.

The Supreme Overlord Gravox v. Two Humps
T.S.O.G. kindly consented to joust Two Humps who was having trouble finding an opponent. Possibly something to do with the mad eyes and frothing at the mouth. On the third pass T.S.O.G. accidentally gave Two Humps one to the throat. Now technically this should have disqualified T.S.O.G. but the brave Two Humps was up for more. A lucky blow by T.S.O.G. in the fourth pass unseated Two Humps.

A great day of competition done in sporting style and chivalrous goodwill with much beer swillage and happy exchange. Choosing the weekend's highlights makes for hard work but I must mention riding through the streets of Brompton with the M.G.E. at full volume and thirty odd freakbike riders with flashing lights circulating in some strange bicycle ballet. Talking bikes around the fire. I didn't see Nancy Porker's hi jinx on Two$Deal but from all reports I missed out. The savage ebb and flow of Figure Eight Racing, derbying to live music and jousting with gay abandon. Watching Nancy Porker on Small Tall riding through the "gauntlet" of MudButt's Triple Penny was an absolute treat. Cruising back to HQ with Skidmark keeping the choons pumping. General relaxed pandemonium back at HQ culminating in the serious and hilarious "open scotum". Can the musicians out there please write a song about it?

Thanks must go out to MudButtMonkey for all his energy in helping to organise the event. Cheers bro! Trixiboy for helping to get the fleet ready. Organ Donor for spreading the word, the excellent masks and calling an ambulance. Captain LightningBeard Query for staying the night. Skidmark for a marathon set, Skeletor, Dogga, Trixiboy and Jimmy Stash for the live music. Trixiboy for MCing. Stitch for the video and mike. Sir Pedals for passing the hat and Fern for patching up the wounded. Everyone who helped clean up or in some littleway. To The Chick From Hush for letting The Supreme Overlord Gravox escape general domestic duties. Again.
But the biggest thanks goes to the lovely people of Rat Patrol for driving all the fuckin' way from Canberra with the magnificent Master Gravity Esquire and bikes to compete and party and ride with Tongue Of Fire. Limp Jimmy, Nancy Porker, Two Humps, Dr. Splat, Dogga, Victa 2 Stroke, Skidmark, Scrujette, Toad Haul and Bloody Mary. We dig your work. For you champs Tongue Of Fire is a Loving Tongue.

As for The Supreme Overlord Gravox he is going to hand over The Supreme Overlord bit to some other and become humble (yet still omnipotent) Gravox who will take some time out to ponder his Great Idea.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The Chip-Fryer Basket was his Undoing

After the first good crash of the day.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Saturday Nite Fever

Tongue of Fire shows Rat Patrol Oz the town. Our erstwhile Canberra fellows are keen to see the sights from their rolling disco. Meet at HQ 7pm to view the latest TOF video on the Super screen. Bring snags and beer. Then we head off for Tour de ' Laide. Woop.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Tallbike Convention

The Tallbike Convention. The S.O. Gravox hopes Tonguers will seize this opportunity to contribute and make this a great day. The S.O.Gravox will be away until the 24th August. Contact will necessarily be by mobile or try MudbuttMonkey. Remember we are meeting at 12 midday under the Bakewell Bridge. If you need a bike you will need to be at HQ BEFORE 11.30. We WILL DEPART AT 11.30. The place will be vacated and locked by 11.30. Can I make it any clearer? If you are happy to go straight to the venue we should be there from 12.30 onwards.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Thighbeard's Downhill


Monday, August 07, 2006

Gravox's bad hair day!

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Musings of a Velo Despot

Mt Lofty Screamathon. The Screaming Tongue of Fire descending out of the mist. However long I have to wait to do that again will be too long. First timers Evil K, Pete F, Verinna & Jimmy James chose a good one. Onya Crispy for transport and Sir Pedals & MudButt for their help. Can't forget the sheer delight on peoples faces and Skeletors exploding saddle. Yet another occasion where Tongue of Fire ruled the road.
Up next is the Montacute Madness - don't forget to let Thighbeard know whats happening. Refer to his July post for details.
Then of course there is MudButtMonkey & Gravy's Tallbike Convention. Plenty of local interest but the interstate rodents have gone quiet.... probably realised they were getting in over their ratty heads. Just joking Porker & Co. You are welcome. Haven't heard back from Scum either. Probably going to church that Sunday or polishing their shiny bits. Other than that it's a goer. Who will triumph in the Blinkered Figure of Eight Racing? What manner of carnage will ensue in the Circle of Doom? Which jouster shall reign supreme?
Then finally, of course, there is my brilliant idea that surpasses everything. Will let you know about that.

Saturday, August 05, 2006


The Supreme Overlord Gravox Who Must Be Venerated has had a vision most profound in which all Tonguers join together for a mystical journey across the vast Crystalline Unknown (and I'm not talking Tunarama). Stay posted.

Thursday, August 03, 2006


we have the chance to ride in the tunarama parade in march 2007!
a friend of mine has offered to put in a submission for a community arts grant, which will pay expenses.... truck hire, transport, accomodation etc.
im looking for riders to register their interest so we can crunch the numbers.... im flyin to lincoln for high level negotiations and partying next week, so be quick!
i'll report back when i get more details....

mucho gracias to those who organised transport for the mt. lofty ride... did some one really rollerblade down or was it just the drugs?? faaaark!!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Come along for a drink this fri 4th AUG 6pm

All welcome

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

tank stunt

"Refreshment" break at Eagle on the Hill ... someone always has to play the class clown, and this time the monkey came away with his skin intact.
Dare To Scream

Fellow tonguers, the humble Organ Donor has tested the limits of her technological competence by uploading a series of questionable quality videos ranging from 2 to 7 seconds (heavy!)

If you were silly enough to travel up Mount Lofty in the back of a Tarago (or something) last Sunday, you might spot your ugly bean here:

Loading Up & Pfaffing Around


A few more snaps... Expert trailer loading, and a pause at Eagle on the Hill - one of many pfaffs taking place en route.

The Gravy Bunch


Here's the story,
Of a man named Gravy...