Saturday, December 20, 2014
Tuesday, December 09, 2014
Antichrist-mas
Ride 2014
Santa?...You've changed man.As I'm sure you are all aware Jebus' birthday is almost upon us,
which means that once again the Tongue of Fire Bike Club must
ride to the aid of the hapless civilians and save them from their
own madness and the spell of the consumption that afflicts them.
As we also know, nothing snaps a "normal" out of their delusions
better or faster than a good old fashioned Freak-Out.
That's where we come in...
Where: West Terrace Rotunda
When: Saturday 20th December
2pm-ish for 3pm-ish start
What: City-centric Freakliness and
general attempts to bring down
the consumerist nightmare that
threatens to engulf us all.
Why: Haven't you been paying attention?
Kindly remember that this is an ANTICHRIST-MAS ride so by all
means pinus your erectus, polish your baubles and shave a rude
word into your downstairs tinsel but please leave them at home.
Remember also, we ride not to embrace it but instead to....
Bring it down!!
BRING IT DOWN!!!
Thursday, October 23, 2014
BOO!!
Yes, my pretties. It's that time of year
again. Time to dust off the cobwebs,
butcher some pumpkins and make sure the
fake blood doesn't clash with your brand
new skull motif T-shirt.
It's Halloween, or 'Toungers Christmas' as
some may call it, and of course that means
getting your gore on and terrorising the
civilian population from the safety and
comfort of a blood splattered freak-bike.
When: Friday 31st October.
6:30pm for 7pm start
Where: West Terrace Rotunda
What: City-centric pedaling mayhem.
Possible critical mass crashing
and showing of how it's done
properly, then heading out to
the Bike Kitchen for refreshments,
where 'Pin-up Jimmy' has promised
to lead us in a dance-off against the
"Normals".
Why: Because Stock Bikes;
"Vant...to suck...your *some text missing*"
Costume is not mandatory for this ride but as
we all know those who do ride in costume are
just a better class of person.
FLY MY PRETTIES!!
FLY!!!!
Sunday, June 22, 2014
WORSHIP
Save Our Sol Ride
RESULTS
Once again it was up to
the Tongue of Fire B.C.
to save the Earth and the
Solar System itself.
With our Sun fading into
a premature heat-death
it was decided that
someone had better do
something about it.
Pagan peddling rites and
general burning of stuff
seemed the only option
to re-invigorate our
failing Sun.
Such rites included the
offering of a shiny new
freak-bike to the spirits
of the highest mountain...
El Grapadura laughs at the laws of Physics*.
...and the donning of Magic
Druidical Pagan dress...
Elvis Boozely may require de-lousing.
...and also this.
Can anyone spot the Tonguer?
With the Sun failing before
our eyes, the weather was
bleak. But not so much as to
put off the dedicated freakers.
Hairy Poppins?
We were fortunate enough to
have international guest**
"Andre die Deutscher" who flew
down from warmer climes just
to aid us in our quest. We were
unfortunate enough to let him
get lost just a little way into the
Up/Down-hill section of the ride.
We set about looking for him....
....in all places.
"O.K. Now cough". *
Eventually he was found and
the downhill section completed.
It looked something like this:
( Warning! Loud wind noise! )
( Seems he no longer needs them.)
Then it was a race against time
across the plains to the
Chop-Shack....
Note: The Cosmic Warrior German
can be seen here on the left of the picture.
(Take a good look 'cos he gets lost again)
....in order to set fire
to our Tony Abbott styled
Wicker Man before the setting
of the Sun....
A splitting image.
...so at precisely Sunset,
(give or take an hour or two)
firey brands were applied to
the Wicked Man, but just like
our leader it proved a bit wet.
A couple of drops from Wanga's
hip-flask of accelerant soon got
him going....
Burn Motherfucker!!!!!!!
...which is when things
started to get Real Freaky!!!
Mate or fight?...They seem unsure.
Happy Winter Solstice All!!
( Except for you know who.)
*With this truely
beautiful machine.
**Andre was a nice guy
and probably not lost
up anyones Bum.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Birth of the
PINK BITS
CHOP SHACK REPORT
14/6/2014
There were welding lessons...
...Wicker Man Tutorials...
...Shiny New Forks...
...Much Noodle Scratching...
...Team Work...
...Many Hands Making Light Work...
...Resulting in a fully ride-able new
Freak-Bike in just one day!!
SHOW US YOUR
PINK BITS
CHOP SHACK REPORT
14/6/2014
There were welding lessons...
...Wicker Man Tutorials...
...Shiny New Forks...
...Much Noodle Scratching...
...Team Work...
...Many Hands Making Light Work...
...Resulting in a fully ride-able new
Freak-Bike in just one day!!
PINK BITS!!
Thursday, June 12, 2014
'BRING THE NOISE'
Cargo Bike Ride
RESULTS
After an early meeting at Belair
it was a pleasant Scream down
to the 'burbs for a coast to the
city for a hand-full of bleary
eyed Tonguers. Noise making
being the theme, El Grapadura*
once again proved his mechanical
prowess with his "I'm bangin' that"
rear drum set-up....
....while The Supreme Underling
Goooglox** was content to raid the
Music Room & Cable-tie Drawer for
anything that could be strapped on
and hit with a stick.
Others however were content with
Sunday morning moans & groans....
....while some simply proved that
style and functionality can work out
their differences and get along with
each other just fine.
At the event, everyone's Christmas's
came at once when Bad Santa arrived
with the fully stocked KegKumbent....
....and went on to win the day and
the "Toughest Bike" award, complete
with trophy! He was all smiles too!
No award was given for knowing
where the thirsty Tonguers
could be found.
Thanks go to Bad Santa for the beer,
and to Peewee for giving us something
to do with our FREAK ON!!!
*Must find name with less sylables
**Self appointed
Cargo Bike Ride
RESULTS
After an early meeting at Belair
it was a pleasant Scream down
to the 'burbs for a coast to the
city for a hand-full of bleary
eyed Tonguers. Noise making
being the theme, El Grapadura*
once again proved his mechanical
prowess with his "I'm bangin' that"
rear drum set-up....
....while The Supreme Underling
Goooglox** was content to raid the
Music Room & Cable-tie Drawer for
anything that could be strapped on
and hit with a stick.
Others however were content with
Sunday morning moans & groans....
....while some simply proved that
style and functionality can work out
their differences and get along with
each other just fine.
At the event, everyone's Christmas's
came at once when Bad Santa arrived
with the fully stocked KegKumbent....
....and went on to win the day and
the "Toughest Bike" award, complete
with trophy! He was all smiles too!
No award was given for knowing
where the thirsty Tonguers
could be found.
Thanks go to Bad Santa for the beer,
and to Peewee for giving us something
to do with our FREAK ON!!!
*Must find name with less sylables
**Self appointed
Friday, May 30, 2014
FREAK A HOLIC
STAY TUNED TO THE FREAK CHANNEL
CHOPPING
PAGAN WORSHIP COSTUMING
EFFIGY DEVELOPMENT
AT THE SHACK
SAT 14TH JUNE
FROM 10AM
(this session will conclude late arvo so get your shit together early)
PAGAN WORHSIP
SCREAMING
BURNING
and carry on into the wee hours
SAT 21ST JUNE
DEPARTING FROM THE SHACK
(morning transport approx $15 - make your commitment known to secure a spot in the limo)