Thursday, December 14, 2006

The Great Cosmic Scam

It probably comes as no suprise to those that know T.S.O.G (as much as one can know an Intergalactic Velodespot) that he is fond of round things. One of his favourite circular entities is the pizza. What he is not fond of is the Great Pizza Scam which is being perpetrated in Adelaide and possibly the rest of the universe. Every night huge quantities of pizza fail to make it to the table of the innocent pizza eaters. How so? Next time you order a pizza take note of its proported size in inches. So-called "family" pizzas are sold as 15inch diameter. Take out your trusty belt mounted retractable imperial/metric tape measure and take a reading at maximum diameter. Typically you will find your pizza, purchased in good faith, will be at LEAST one inch less than advertised. "So what?" you say "keep your horse hair lined diamond studded silk G-string on". Do the maths. Family size~ 7.5 inches x 7.5 inches x 3.14= 176.625 square inches
7.0 inches x 7.0 inches x 3.14= 153.86 square inches ~a difference of 22.765 square inches which equates to 13% of a 15 inch pizza. It is not uncommon that a"family" pizza will only be 13 inches in diameter. The missing portion (43.959 square inches) is a shocking 25%! Lets say that a thousand undersized pizzas get sold in one night thats 305 square FEET of pizza being embezzled from the honest hard working pizza loving public of this great state! Enough! Be ready with your measuring device! The perception that takeaway pizza orderers are apathetic couch dwellers that can't put up a fight must end! Stand beside The Supreme Overlord Gravox as we take the fight to these evil profiteering dough-mongers!!!!!!


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