Saturday, December 20, 2014

     Antichrist-mas

         2014

      ride results.

       

                                         It is done.

Tuesday, December 09, 2014

       Antichrist-mas

         Ride 2014

                            Santa?...You've changed man.

      As I'm sure you are all aware Jebus' birthday is almost upon us,
     which means that once again the Tongue of Fire Bike Club must
     ride to the aid of the hapless civilians and save them from their 
     own madness and the spell of the consumption that afflicts them.
      As we also know, nothing snaps a "normal" out of their delusions
     better or faster than a good old fashioned Freak-Out.
       That's where we come in...

                 Where: West Terrace Rotunda
                  When: Saturday 20th December
                             2pm-ish for 3pm-ish start
                   What: City-centric Freakliness and
                             general attempts to bring down
                             the consumerist nightmare that
                             threatens to engulf us all.
                    Why: Haven't you been paying attention?

      Kindly remember that this is an ANTICHRIST-MAS ride so by all
     means pinus your erectus, polish your baubles and shave a rude
     word into your downstairs tinsel but please leave them at home.
      Remember also, we ride not to embrace it but instead to....


  
                  Bring it down!!

    BRING IT DOWN!!!          


Thursday, October 23, 2014

                 BOO!!


                 Yes, my pretties. It's that time of year
                again. Time to dust off the cobwebs,
                butcher some pumpkins and make sure the
                fake blood doesn't clash with your brand
                new skull motif T-shirt. 


                 It's Halloween, or 'Toungers Christmas' as
                some may call it, and of course that means
                getting your gore on and terrorising the
                civilian population from the safety and 
                comfort of a blood splattered freak-bike.

                  When: Friday 31st October.
                             6:30pm for 7pm start

                  Where: West Terrace Rotunda

                   What: City-centric pedaling mayhem.
                              Possible critical mass crashing
                              and showing of how it's done 
                              properly, then heading out to
                              the Bike Kitchen for refreshments,
                              where 'Pin-up Jimmy' has promised
                              to lead us in a dance-off against the
                              "Normals".

                      Why: Because Stock Bikes;
                              "Vant...to suck...your *some text missing*"

                Costume is not mandatory for this ride but as
                 we all know those who do ride in costume are 
                 just a better class of person. 

                        
               FLY MY PRETTIES!!
                    FLY!!!!

Sunday, June 22, 2014

 PAGAN
WORSHIP
  Save Our Sol Ride
   RESULTS 

 Once again it was up to
the Tongue of Fire B.C.
to save the Earth and the
Solar System itself. 
 With our Sun fading into
a premature heat-death
it was decided that 
someone had better do
something about it.
 Pagan peddling rites and
general burning of stuff
seemed the only option
to re-invigorate our 
failing Sun.

 Such rites included the
offering of a shiny new
freak-bike to the spirits
of the highest mountain...

        El Grapadura laughs at the laws of Physics*.

 ...and the donning of Magic
Druidical Pagan dress...

        Elvis Boozely may require de-lousing.

 ...and also this.

        Can anyone spot the Tonguer?

 With the Sun failing before
our eyes, the weather was
bleak. But not so much as to
put off the dedicated freakers.

         Hairy Poppins?

  We were fortunate enough to
have international guest**
"Andre die Deutscher" who flew
down from warmer climes just
to aid us in our quest. We were
unfortunate enough to let him
get lost just a little way into the
Up/Down-hill section of the ride.
We set about looking for him....
....in all places.


          "O.K. Now cough". *

 Eventually he was found and
the downhill section completed.
It looked something like this:
 ( Warning! Loud wind noise! )

video
    For sale: Honourary Tonguer Wanga's handle bars.
             ( Seems he no longer needs them.)

 Then it was a race against time
across the plains to the 
Chop-Shack....

        Note: The Cosmic Warrior German
       can be seen here on the left of the picture.
       (Take a good look 'cos he gets lost again)
      

 ....in order to set fire
to our Tony Abbott styled
Wicker Man before the setting
of the Sun....

        A splitting image.

 ...so at precisely Sunset, 
(give or take an hour or two)
firey brands were applied to
the Wicked Man, but just like 
our leader it proved a bit wet.
 A couple of drops from Wanga's
hip-flask of accelerant soon got
him going....

         Burn Motherfucker!!!!!!!

...which is when things
started to get Real Freaky!!!

         Mate or fight?...They seem unsure.
 
 Happy Winter Solstice All!!
( Except for you know who.)
        *With this truely
        beautiful machine.
       **Andre was a nice guy
       and probably not lost
       up anyones Bum.
  


Sunday, June 15, 2014

Birth of the
 PINK BITS
CHOP SHACK REPORT
      14/6/2014

 There were welding lessons...

...Wicker Man Tutorials...

 ...Shiny New Forks...


  ...Much Noodle Scratching...

 ...Team Work...

...Many Hands Making Light Work...


...Resulting in a fully ride-able new
Freak-Bike in just one day!!

 
      SHOW US YOUR

    PINK BITS!!



 

Thursday, June 12, 2014

 'BRING THE NOISE'
     Cargo Bike Ride
         RESULTS  

 After an early meeting at Belair
 it was a pleasant Scream down
 to the 'burbs for a coast to the
 city for a hand-full of bleary
 eyed Tonguers. Noise making
 being the theme, El Grapadura*
 once again proved his mechanical
 prowess with his "I'm bangin' that"
 rear drum set-up....


....while The Supreme Underling
Goooglox** was content to raid the
Music Room & Cable-tie Drawer for
anything that could be strapped on
and hit with a stick.

 Others however were content with
 Sunday morning moans & groans....

 ....while some simply proved that
style and functionality can work out
their differences and get along with
each other just fine.

  At the event, everyone's Christmas's
came at once when Bad Santa arrived
with the fully stocked KegKumbent....

 ....and went on to win the day and 
the "Toughest Bike" award, complete
with trophy! He was all smiles too!

No award was given for knowing 
where the thirsty Tonguers
could be found.

 Thanks go to Bad Santa for the beer,
and to Peewee for giving us something 
to do with our FREAK ON!!!

*Must find name with less sylables
**Self appointed

Friday, May 30, 2014

FREAK A HOLIC


STAY TUNED TO THE FREAK CHANNEL

CHOPPING
PAGAN WORSHIP COSTUMING
EFFIGY DEVELOPMENT

AT THE SHACK
SAT 14TH JUNE
FROM 10AM
(this session will conclude late arvo so get your shit together early)

PAGAN WORHSIP
SCREAMING
BURNING

and carry on into the wee hours
SAT 21ST JUNE
DEPARTING FROM THE SHACK
(morning transport approx $15 - make your commitment known to secure a spot in the limo)