Tuesday, July 03, 2007

A Benevolent Super Being

Once again The Supreme Overlord Gravox, reclining in his harp seal fur upholstered hyper relax massage recliner as his trained hamsters gently scraped his inner nostrils, had time to consider things. Wandering through the rose garden of his mind TSOG stepped in something warm, soft and pungent. Picking up this maloderous dog turd of a thought TSOG realised all was not well in his universe. There was suffering, pain and ignorance. How so you ask? Consider TSOG's dear friends the Boneshakers. These charming people of the bicycle world suffer from a terrible condition known as A.C.D.D. (AnimalContentDefficiencyDisorder) and the even more horrible A.C.D.C.A.C.D.D.(AC/DC and AnimalContentDefficiencyDisorder). The dreadful symptoms of this conditions are brought on by a lack of animal based foods or even worse a lack of animal based foods and an absence of Acca Dacca. Why should this be so? How it totures TSOG to see these poor souls suffer. Solution? The Hot Gravox Beef Burger Sausage Roll Pie Yiros on a Stick. Oh yes TSOG has been hard at work in his lab to formulate a form of sustainace rich enough in burnt meat gravy goodness that it will keep the BoneShakers healthy for hours at a time. This was no easy task. Sure it was simple enough to leave out all extraneous vegetable matter but what about the pastry/bread wrapper( normally so low in Animal Content) that would be needed to hold this hot molten mass together? TSOG has created a top secret, highly technical pastry made entirely of boiled down hoof and sphincter gristle. What about the stick you say? 100% gazelle femur! Imagine their happy little faces when they suck the marrow out of that! The best of all? The Hot Gravox Beef Burger Sausage Roll Pie Yiros on a Stick plays Acca Dacca (Bon Scott period only) WHILE YOU EAT IT!

The Tongue and The Bone ride again Thursday 12th 7.30pm HQ.


Blogger TallBikes said...

Noisy Chopper riding meat heads!!!

I don't think Il be able to eat one of those and still climb on my tallbike, to compactingly heavy for we lightsum mostly veterinarian Monkeys!!

meat pastry????? funny tho one wonders what this rose garden of your mind looks like? lots of blow flys i imagine.

9:29 AM  

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