Drunken Riding

As I understand it :
1.Riding a pushbike intoxicated is an offence and your car license can be diqualified.
2.You can be pulled over and tested if you appear to be having difficulty controlling your bike.

What seems to happen:
1.Police will generally leave cyclists alone if they seem to be in control, are obeying the road rules, are wearing a helmet and have lights at night.

My thoughts:
1.We ride bikes that attract attention and are of dubious roadworthiness.
2.We often seem to be out of control even when sober.

Therefore:
1.Wear a helmet, have lights at night.
2.Plan to be on a bike track for the most drunken part of the ride ( not, for example riding down Hindley very loudly and drunkenly on a Thursday night. [can you have more fun?])
3. If pulled over by the cuntstabulary be polite, complaisant and apologetic in a mildly suprised way.

All this may seem too hard and probably is but your license could be at stake.